{"id":2209,"date":"2019-10-07T02:55:39","date_gmt":"2019-10-07T02:55:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/?p=2209"},"modified":"2019-10-07T03:03:40","modified_gmt":"2019-10-07T03:03:40","slug":"sweet-reunions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/sweet-reunions\/","title":{"rendered":"Sweet Reunions"},"content":{"rendered":"

As high school reunions go, our 45th\u00a0<\/sup>was pretty darn good fun.\u00a0 A core group of stalwarts who stayed in my hometown have been great about planning these gatherings regularly, and hats off to all of them for excellent planning and hospitality.\u00a0 As a regular reveler at these affairs, I can testify that after you attend a few you begin to anticipate some basic, recurring fundamentals.<\/p>\n

There will be those who looked exactly the same, and those who are utterly unrecognizable. \u00a0(You can only hope to be categorized as the former, but who knows?\u00a0 The mirror is a tricky partygoer.)\u00a0 There are always surprises with those who journey from long distances, especially characters who you wouldn\u2019t have recalled giving a rip about high school. Inevitably, there are poignant absences among classmates who live a stone\u2019s throw away but don\u2019t show, due to life\u2019s heartbreaking difficulties. As the decades progress, conversations at these soirees migrate from career arcs and notable achievements (I try to leave my envy hat at home, but in our crowd, it\u2019s a tough one to shed) to the tallies that matter more in late midlife:\u00a0 Headcounts of grandchildren, losses of parents, and retirement travel plans.<\/p>\n

On the relationship and behavior scorecard, there\u2019s always one who you wouldn\u2019t have expected to get plastered so early in the evening; this time, a svelte athlete, perhaps too thin to hold the liquor, or too dedicated to sport to know how to imbibe responsibly.\u00a0There\u2019s going to be someone you wish, at an awkward moment strangely reminiscent of teen angst that should have dissipated a half-century ago, would remember you.\u00a0 And as surely as bourbon flows from Kentucky, there will be at least one attendee you\u2019d desperately prefer to forget, or just as frantically hope has forgotten you.\u00a0 \u00a0(And possibly even think: If he pats my shoulder or rubs my back one more time, I\u2019m going to shriek something that my mother would describe as \u201cmost unattractive.\u201d)<\/p>\n

And if you are one of the lucky ones, as I have been these 4.5 decades, you have a steady friend with whom to attend and navigate these choppy waters as a team.\u00a0 My best high-school pal, Jane, and I have attended nearly all of these together, still being the best of buddies after all these years. Facing the music together adds immeasurably to the side-splitting moments and helps to assuage the others.\u00a0 Even better, we\u2019ve got a circle of additional friends from the old gang who keep in touch and generally turn up, so for us it really can feel like old times.\"\"<\/p>\n

As much fun as it was to catch up with everyone, and to gab about people we hadn\u2019t really known well in high school but thoroughly enjoyed seeing—the reunion that mattered most to me was the smaller, quieter one that followed.<\/p>\n

The following morning, Jane and I drove the short ride to a tiny town less than an hour east, in Central Kentucky, to visit my 88-year-old mother and take her to lunch.\u00a0 It was to be the first time they had seen each other in person in more than 30 years.\u00a0 What a long litany of changes on both sides in between meetings—marriages, divorce, children, death and widowhood, cancer, unemployment.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a life saga no one could have chronicled when Jane and I were bouncy teenagers, spending as much time in each other\u2019s homes as we did in our own, growing to love each other\u2019s parents as extended family, the kind you could count on to lend an ear or a 10-spot for food after the game, maybe even provide your first approved cocktail in the safe environment of home.\u00a0 When her mother\u2019s health began failing three years ago, I was determined to get in a good visit while time still allowed. Other losses had taught me that nothing prepares the heart for loss more profoundly than the chance to say anything that needs to be said, while we can still say it.\u00a0 While we didn\u2019t discuss it in those terms, perhaps Jane felt the same, this trip. My mother in many ways is holding her own, but the last two years have brought serious bumps, and who can forecast the time and seasons to be given to an 88-year-old?<\/p>\n

Timing, as fate would have it, was not great.\u00a0 Mom moved just two days before our visit to a beautiful new home with all the help she needs, but moving is a tough gig for anyone. \u00a0Jane and I were prepared; we discussed it and agreed we would roll with whatever we encountered on arrival.\u00a0A preview phone call from my brother, followed by a text, forewarned us that Mom was not having a good day.<\/p>\n

When we arrived, Jane thoughtfully asked if I wanted to go in first, just in case. I found the main entrance and was preparing to search Mom out, but there she was, waiting for us at the door, dressed in bright Sunday best, jewelry on, nails painted, hair fixed.<\/p>\n

\"\"Leaning carefully her walker as I approached, she accepted my kiss on the cheek, but without preamble for me, demanded, \u201cWhere\u2019s Jane?<\/p>\n

So, I went and fetched her.\u00a0And then stood back, out of the way of the bear hug that went on forever, with the tears on both sets of cheeks, and watched as the past and the future melded into one warm, glowing arc.<\/p>\n

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As high school reunions go, our 45th\u00a0was pretty darn good fun.\u00a0 A core group of stalwarts who stayed in my hometown have been great about planning these gatherings regularly, and hats off to all of them for excellent planning and hospitality.\u00a0 As a regular reveler at these affairs, I can testify that after you attend […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[124,125],"class_list":["post-2209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mid-life-adventures","tag-high-school-reunions","tag-old-friends"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2209"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}