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Like so many Americans, G-ma has been diverted from her usual ruminations on grandchildren and family and turned instead to pondering this historic time in our nation<\/em>.<\/p>\n Anyone with their eyes open in America this week has watched shock ripples that will be recounted for many generations to come.\u00a0 For me, processing shock (and its close cousin, grief) seems to require a strange sequence of polar opposites.\u00a0 With no intent to trivialize or make light, but only to affirm the oddities of humanity, I confess to the following map of shock in the days since the Great Eye-Opener (or GEO, also known as the American president election on Nov. 8):<\/p>\n Sometimes couldn\u2019t eat; no appetite.\u00a0 Then, I consumed doughnuts three straight days at the office, followed by candy later.\u00a0 The sound of the television or radio was unbearable, then I found myself obsessing over every morsel of consumable news, everywhere.\u00a0 One night was insomnia, then one night it seemed I would sleep until the next decade (and sorta wished I could).<\/p>\n Meanwhile, a funny thing happened on about Day 3, post-GEO.\u00a0 I was brushing my teeth and casually listening to a TV commentator, and suddenly I was overwhelmed by so many people opining on what everyone should think, do, feel or envision now.\u00a0 How exhausting, how useless. It\u2019s too much.\u00a0 I switched the TV off.<\/p>\n Spitting out the toothpaste with greater-than-usual velocity, I looked in the mirror, and a thought occurred. Maybe I should pay more attention to the inside of my own head, and start my examination there.\u00a0 And really consider what I\u2019ve done, just me. \u00a0Maybe, Mirror, those things are not quite as obvious as they seemed. Before.<\/p>\n The Mirror looked back with some questions.<\/p>\n \u201cSo,\u201d the Mirror began, \u201cDid you do what you thought was right for your country this past week?\u2019<\/p>\n Well, I thought so, I began, tentatively.\u00a0 I voted, early, even, wore my sticker to the office, wrote a check to my candidate, did my best to stay in the discussion in some places and out of it in others. \u00a0I stayed up later than anyone my age that I know to listen to the results and grapple with the implications.\u00a0 I prayed for insight and understanding.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd?\u201d\u00a0 The Mirror inquired.<\/p>\n And, what?\u00a0 I stared back.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you think what you did mattered?\u00a0 Was it enough?\u201d<\/p>\n Oh, you know, it was about the same as most people I knew\u2014more than some, less than others, but generally the same.<\/p>\n \u201cThen I\u2019ll ask you again,\u201d said the Mirror, one eyebrow raised, like my mother giving us the mean eye when we were kids. \u201cWas it enough?\u201d<\/p>\n Dang.\u00a0 This is hard.\u00a0 I fumbled for a response, but the Mirror won\u2019t break my gaze.\u00a0 And probably won\u2019t like the first answers that float up.\u00a0 They\u2019re about status quo, and meeting my obligation, and how so many nice people think politics is icky, and sometimes I do, too, and sometimes my friends don\u2019t like it on Facebook, and at least I didn\u2019t write in some crazy person\u2026on and on.<\/p>\n But the Mirror is not going to let me off with this, I can tell.\u00a0 Best I can manage, without averting my eyes, is:\u00a0 Okay, no.\u00a0 In the deepest part of my conscience, down deeper than what rustles the pillowcase on the average night, I don\u2019t think it was enough.\u00a0 I\u2019m not smart enough to know the precise factors that would have changed what happened this week, scientifically, analytically.\u00a0 All that stuff.\u00a0 But yes, fine, OK, I admit it, I could have done more.<\/p>\n \u201cNow we are getting somewhere,\u201d the Mirror agreed, lowering the eyebrow just a fraction.\u00a0 \u201cWould doing more have made a difference?\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know that!\u00a0 I started to raise my voice.\u00a0 I can\u2019t know that.\u00a0 Who can say?\u00a0 I\u2019m just one person!<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, One Person,\u201d the Mirror volleyed.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s true.\u00a0 But we are<\/em> talking about you, after all. You are the only person we can manage.\u00a0 And you think there could be a different answer, or we wouldn\u2019t be having this little chat.\u201d<\/p>\n True enough, I sighed.<\/p>\n The Mirror pressed on. \u201cSounds like you think next time should be different.\u00a0 Must be different.\u00a0 Fair?\u00a0 If so, what does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know!\u00a0 My voice rose again, with just a shade of embarrassing panic.\u00a0 It\u2019s only been three days!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what to do next time!\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Or, now, even.\u00a0 Join the march of women on Washington?\u00a0 Give more money?\u00a0 Help start a new party?\u00a0 Wear my friends out on Facebook until they all erase me from their feeds, or find new Facebook friends?\u00a0 Talk more about this at cocktail parties, or talk less?\u00a0 More yoga and meditation, and better kindness to all peoples? C\u2019mon, Mirror, help me out here—surely you can think of something!<\/p>\n \u201cGo away,\u201d the Mirror said, calmly but firmly.\u00a0 \u201cGo away and find out.\u00a0 You were a reporter once; you know how to ask questions.\u00a0 Start talking to people.\u00a0 Watch for ideas.\u00a0 Follow the people you respect whose conscience points them the same place that yours points you.\u00a0 Take a step, even one.\u00a0 If it\u2019s the wrong step, take a different one.\u00a0 Remember what Dad always said:\u00a0 Do Something, Even if it\u2019s Wrong.\u00a0 Then come and report back.\u00a0 I expect an update.\u00a0 Don\u2019t wait long.\u00a0 It\u2019s time.\u201d<\/p>\n The Mirror is right about that last, for sure.\u00a0 It\u2019s time.<\/p>\n I switched off the light, and left the room.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Like so many Americans, G-ma has been diverted from her usual ruminations on grandchildren and family and turned instead to pondering this historic time in our nation. Anyone with their eyes open in America this week has watched shock ripples that will be recounted for many generations to come.\u00a0 For me, processing shock (and its […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1866,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-656","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aging-parents","category-mid-life-adventures"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/656","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=656"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/656\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=656"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=656"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmachronicles.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=656"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}