If the grandkids are awake, breathing, and on the premises, questions are buzzing like bees swarming a hive in summer. There is nothing to stoke the mental agility, touch the heart, and occasionally terrify the soul of a grandparent more than the questions these little varmints hurl at you. Here’s a sample of my Top 10 favorites (with apologies to my old pal David Letterman), paired with the often less-than-stellar answers:
No. 10: Why do some flowers stand up in pots and others hang down?
G-ma: They’re made like that. They do that on purpose.
No. 9: Why is your hair sticking out like that in the back?
G-ma: Sometimes when you are here I forget to look in the mirror.
No. 8: Can we sing that song you like?
G-ma: Of course. You know I’ll sing any place, any time. But don’t make that face.
No. 7: Do you like knock-knock jokes?
G-ma: More than life itself.
No. 6: What does that button do?
G-ma: Ummmm…maybe it…or, possibly it’s for…actually, I have no idea. But I will find out for you.
No. 5: Are lightning bugs nocturnal?
G-ma: How on earth did you learn a word like that?
No. 4: So, what have you been doing lately?
G-ma: (So flabbergasted by question I can’t think of an answer for a couple of seconds. Then:). Oh, you know, just the usual stuff. Work, walk the dog, you know.
No. 3: Why do they call these corns ears?
G-ma: They stick out off the stalk like the ears on your head. Be careful–they might be listening.
No. 2: Do you believe God?
And the all-time No. 1 favorite G-kid question: Can I help you?
G-ma: Of course. I couldn’t possibly do this without you.